I am going to EXPWODE if I don't get this out!

I am not keen on making fun of fowks. I twy not to do it, because it is wong, wude, and incosdewit. Still, I feew that thew awe some fowks who act like ass howes and desewve it. Stiww, I wiww wefwain from mentioning exactwy who I am tawking about hewe. I wiww say that I was wooking for Dougwas Adams interviews on NPR, when I came across one about him with someone ewse.

I had nevew wistened to this pewson speak, so I did not know they spoke in a vewy ammusing way, and I just couwd not stop waughing. Evewy time he spoke I just fell over. If he was not such an ass howe, and cwybaby I might not have laughed so hard. But I couwd just immagine his tempew tantwum with that voice. OH GOD IT WAS FUNNY!!! I onwy wish I could be more specific, but I am surwe he was picked on quite a bit as a child, which expwaines why he acts the way he does.


It is just so tempting to go onto the boawds and post a wink, but I am not THAT much of an ass.

My side huwts.

I am not a racist but...

It just makes my head hurt. I keep hearing that everywhere. Apparently if you use the phrase "I am not a racist but" it admonishes you of all guilt when making a racist comment. It is the mantra of the American narrow-minded jackass.

It seems that if you begin with this phrase you can say whatever you like, and people are not supposed to feel you have said something offensive. Use it in conjunction with "...it is because you people are so politically correct and scared to say what you really think" and they think themselves saints.

Example: "I am not a racist but I think black people need to stay in their houses with their crack pipes and dozens of illegitimate kids. I didn't say anything wrong, you are just overly sensitive and too politically correct. You know I am right."

What kind of idiotic nonsense is that? The phrase has the opposite effect than what is intended in fact. Saying "I am not a racist but" insures that the person you talk to KNOWS that what is about to come out of your mouth is racist. If you were not about to say something offensive, there would be no reason to warn people about it. Nobody walks out their front door and looks at the sky saying "I am no racist but it sure is a lovely day today." No, you only say it in a sad attempt to reassure people that though what you say may SEEM offensive... well, it seems to stop there. Maybe some day we will be able to move on and away from this, but I don't see it happening. People, it seems, may always want reasons to feel superior, they may always fear that which is different, and we will always apparently have morons that want to blame their problems on a cross section of people who look or talk differently than they do.